What I Choose to Do With It

What I Choose to Do With It
Part 2: Mediumship, Consent, and Why I Don't Call Myself a Medium

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In Part 1, I shared some of the experiences that made it increasingly difficult for me to dismiss mediumship as something that simply wasn't real.

But accepting that I was experiencing something and deciding what I wanted to do with it were two different things.

Because eventually some of the experiences weren't connected to my own passed loved ones.

There have been a few times when I've received messages from passed loved ones belonging to other people.

Usually those experiences have happened during readings where I had already set the ground rule that I was open to communicating in a respectful and productive way.

And even then, I still ask the recipient for permission.

Are they ready to receive the message?

Do they want to hear it at all?

There have also been a handful of times when I knew someone had experienced the passing of a relative or friend and something came through, but I knew they weren't ready for that kind of conversation yet.

So I kept it to myself.

It's not like the messages are always seriously complex or detailed. Most of the time they've been simple words of comfort and encouragement. The times I've received more detailed messages have mostly been during readings.

There have also been times when I've felt obligated to share a message because it seemed like the passed spirit was trying to complete something they hadn't been able to finish while they were still in body — something connected to their own soul contracts. In those moments the message wasn't really for me to hold onto. It was meant to be passed on.

There have also been times when the message wasn't about comfort at all but rather a reminder or a prompt for action on something the person needed to be aware of. That was the case with my grandfathers. Not every message is soft. Some are simply necessary.

But that doesn't mean I automatically share everything I receive. If someone booked a general reading with me and a passed loved one came through, I would usually ask whether they wanted to receive the message first. Free will matters. They may not believe in soul contracts or even be open to receiving a message from someone who has passed, and that's their choice to make.

There may be times when I'm specifically prompted to share something and given a reason why it needs to be shared. In that case I might explain that there's a message coming through and why I feel it's important for them to hear it. But the choice is still theirs. If they tell me they don't want to receive it, I'm not going to tell them.

And free will doesn't end when the message is shared. The person gets to decide what they believe after they hear it. If they don't believe it that's completely fine. If it's simply a novelty for them that's also fine. It isn't my place to define any of this for anyone. My role is simply to share when consented to do so.

For me, receiving something doesn't automatically mean someone else needs to hear it. But when it feels like it needs to be said, I try to honor that.

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Part of the reason I was so against mediumship in the first place was that I wasn't open to the idea of it being real. I thought mediums could simply be making things up, reading people's facial expressions, interpreting their words and reactions, and using that information to make it seem like they were receiving messages.

And because I didn't believe they were actually communicating with passed loved ones, it also seemed to me like mediums were taking advantage of people's grief and their need for closure and comfort. I wasn't aligned with that, and it was probably the main reason I was never interested in being open to mediumship myself, let alone seeking it out.

That view was formed before I had my own psychic experiences — so of course it's evolved since then.

Because when you see mediums only from the outside and through a lens of skepticism, it's easy to paint everyone with the same broad brush. But that's the opposite of nuance. Not all mediums, psychics, healers, therapists, psychologists, or people are the same. Motivations vary. Levels of integrity vary. And while I'm sure there have been people who have done things without integrity, there have also been others who haven't. Recognizing that helped me become more open to sharing what I receive.

The thing is, after having my own experiences and sharing messages from passed on souls, I started to look at it differently.

If what I want to do is help people heal and grow, and I'm being given an opportunity to assist in a less straightforward way through mediumship, I'm not going to try to micromanage the divine's intentions in giving me that opportunity.

But I think, like everything, it can get a little tricky ethically when someone becomes dependent on someone outside themselves for comfort. That's where some of my apprehension around mediumship has come from too.

Because if I'm honest, had I been open to any of this right after losing those I loved, I probably would have gone to a medium every single day trying to maintain some form of connection with them. But that's like picking at a healing wound.

The main point of mediumship to me isn't to keep the wound open. It's to apply a balm that helps it heal naturally.

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I also intentionally avoid calling myself a medium.

I just don't really like labels.

They feel limiting.

I'm not just someone who has mediumship abilities.

I'm someone who also does healing.

I write.

I color.

I'm not just one thing.

And I don't want to focus too much on abilities because I know how easily what we can do can become the center of our identity.

I've done that before.

There was a time when I relied heavily on what I could do, and when I was no longer able to do those things it shook my entire sense of self. My identity. My sense of worthiness. Who am I if I'm not recognized for what I can do? That question took a long time to work through.

So now I would rather identify as a person who can do something than make what I can do into what I am.

I also know myself well enough to know that focusing too heavily on abilities can feed my ego.

And when that happens, I feel like the calling and practice stop being as pure. It can start becoming something I'm doing for recognition rather than for the people I'm meant to serve.

That's not to say that's the case for other people who identify as mediums.

I'm talking about me.

I don't want any one thing I can do to become the entirety of who I am.

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I still don't have all the answers.

And mediumship isn't all of who I am.

It's simply one of the things I've experienced.

When I do share messages and guidance it's because I believe they can offer something meaningful to the person receiving them. Sometimes that's comfort and healing for relationships that missed opportunities while in the physical. Sometimes it's allowing someone who is grieving to feel a little closer to someone they loved. And sometimes it's helping a person value themselves a little more by giving them an opportunity to see themselves through the eyes of someone who loved them. I know that has been true for me.

So this is one more part of me.

And since I've spent these last two blogs sharing a little more of myself with you, I'd like to open that door in the other direction too. If there's something you're curious about, a question you'd like to ask me, or a topic you'd like to hear me speak or write about, reach out to me directly. I can't promise I'll have an answer to everything, but I'm open to the conversation.

With love,
— Hadija (Higher Heart Warrior Channel)

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