The Ghost Who Just Wanted Some Peace and Quiet

A little Halloween fun: This is a fictional, humorous take on ghosts and isn't meant to represent my actual views or experiences with spirits.

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There I was, just sitting there, minding my own business, pondering the meaning of existence.

What did I do in my life before I died? What could I have learned? And how does the meaning of existence change so drastically once you're dead?

If only I could let my loved ones know how I really felt.

And ooooh, if only I could have a Reese's peanut butter cup with Oreo in it one last time.

The thing is, I'd been stuck on these questions for a while. Turns out when you haven't figured out what you were supposed to learn, you don't exactly get to just float off into the next thing.

So there I was. Pondering. Waiting. Stuck.

Then this young, hip girl moves into my house.

And what does she do?

She starts pondering the exact same things.

While still alive.

She's burning sage, setting out crystals, and opening up my house to all these other spirits because she wants to talk to them.

And she's sooooo serious about it.

Apparently, she can hear spirits, but she's still figuring out how to interpret what they're telling her.

All she does is ponder the meaning of life and the spiritual world, looking for signs in absolutely everything.

Oh, you think that candle flicker was a sign?

NOOOO! THIS IS A DRAFTY ASS HOUSE!

Oh, you think that chill up your spine was a sign?

IT'S STILL A DRAFTY HOUSE!

Oh, and that creak? You think that was me?

NOOOO! IT'S JUST AN OLD HOUSE, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!

BANG!

Oops.

I got a little too worked up.

Now she's got an actual sign, and she knows it was me.

Damn it.

Now she's going to try to talk to me.

Oh shit. Here we go.

Nope. I'm not talking to you.

Although…

Maybe it would be nice to have someone hear my story.

Hey, maybe she could even let my friend know I was the one who superglued her ex's hand to the desk.

Okay, well, maybe it's not too bad having someone here to talk to.

But I'm not getting too close.

Famous last words.

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A few days passed.

She left out a small dish of candy on the kitchen counter.

No note. No explanation.

Just candy.

I don't even know how she knew about the Reese's.

Actually — I think I might have mentioned it.

Damn it.

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A few weeks later…

She was trying to help another spirit get a message through.

"So okay, in this lifetime you were a pet and a guardian and in your last lifetime the roles were reversed — and you want them to know that you aren't afraid to move on to your next life, you're just worried about how they'll cope when you're gone?"

NOOOOOO. She said she was their DAUGHTER. Not their PET.

Wait.

Why do I care? It's not my story.

Oh shit. She heard me.

Damn it.

What if she asks me for help now? Ughh.

And then there was another spirit. A little too pushy.

"Wait, so you mean you weren't friends, you were enemies, but you want to be friends?"

The spirit started sending her negative energy out of frustration, and she was getting frazzled.

Absolutely not.

Not in my house.

There will be none of that.

Bye!

...Did I just defend her?

Huh.

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As more time passed, we started working together.

She'd communicate with the spirits she kept inviting over, and I'd help when she got her messages crossed.

And if any of them got a little too pushy, well…

Let's just say I became her unofficial spiritual bouncer.

Apparently, even ghosts need a lesson in etiquette.

A few weeks after that, she was helping another spirit, and she got the message exactly right.

All of it. The name. The relationship. What they needed to say.

The spirit left feeling complete.

I didn't say anything.

But I noticed.

She didn't need me stepping in as much anymore.

Which should have been a relief.

And it was.

Mostly.

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I wasn't feeling quite so stuck anymore.

Maybe I just needed to be heard.

Maybe helping her learn something had helped me learn something, too.

And somehow, this girl who drove me absolutely nuts with her palo santo, incense, sage, crystals, and endless questions had become someone I actually enjoyed having around.

It was finally time to move on to that next life I'd spent so long pondering.

And as much as I'd complained about her, I had a feeling this wasn't really goodbye.

I have a feeling we'll be meeting again.

Still wouldn't mind that Reese's, though.

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