🌙When Faith Becomes a Companion: Not a Concept

(A reflection on the bridges that carry us when we can't yet see the way)

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Opening Reflections — Holding Faith Through the Unknown

I had faith before I made this most recent leap and it took a little while but that faith was rewarded in ways big and small. Faith and trust are inextricable and that being said I found that having to lean on one made the other possible — trust that so long as I kept the faith, kept returning my thoughts to the positive, to the things in my control, to acceptance of things out of my control and belief that I am not alone, belief that even if I can’t yet see the things I know to be true — that these circumstances aren’t permanent, that these feelings aren’t permanent, that the wheel does turn, that all my hard work, dedication and perseverance are paying off.

Specifically, I had faith in the fact that everything I had ever experienced was preparing me to be able to traverse these last few months without losing myself, while caring for my needs unapologetically (specifically with myself). I had faith that so long as I maintained my equilibrium and focus on the desired outcome, while being grateful for all the miracles I get to experience daily… I had faith that I may not understand the timing but so many times in the past I also didn’t understand the timing, only to end up better than I imagined would be possible. I’m not saying it was always clear — in fact, I’d say it was not clear — but again that’s where the faith, belief, and trust come in. Faith didn’t remove uncertainty; it helped me walk through it.

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Where in your life has light arrived only after you kept going for a while?

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The Foundation I Didn’t Realize I Was Building

And what’s interesting is that the fact that I have been able to keep the faith, the fact that I have handled these last few months the way I have, are proof of just that. I’ve fostered the self-trust, I’ve cultivated the connection with myself, my connection with the divine over the years, and it’s that effort and intention that set the foundation for my faith to be able to stand the weight of these challenges to my faith.

It’s funny — I didn’t really sit and think about the idea that I had already built the foundation. Like, in an abstract sense I knew it was there, but only while writing this am I really getting to the point that I can see how I was being prepared for this over the last six years. This retroactive clarity is important for me because lately, like so many themes I’ve written about, while something is happening the depth and breadth of the roots are seen more clearly with the zoom-out.

Having that zoom-out also gives me the space to solidify and anchor into my conscious mind just how much there is to be grateful for — and that gratitude in turn bolsters the faith that I’m on the right path for me.

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What roots in your life have been growing quietly beneath the surface without your awareness?

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The Moment I Realized I Had Changed

I knew I had the foundation when I was at an intersection and had to drive back somewhere I had just left. It was late, I had already left, but I missed a text and it was a problem that the person I was 10 years ago would have been pissy about (which would have been valid — but it would have gone on longer than necessary and ruined my whole day). The old me would’ve spiraled: What do you mean now I have to go all the way back? And it’s my fault because I was rushing…

But I realized I was actually okay with it. I was singing and dancing to the music. And the reason this is big is because yes — two years ago I would have reacted differently that night, but back then I had housing, stability, and a guaranteed paycheck. So the point is: given the stressors and circumstances I have now vs. then, the fact that I was still responding the same shows just how far I’ve come.

That moment wasn’t just emotional progress — it was evidence of the quiet faith I’d been building without realizing it. And if I can show you one thing, it’s that it’s possible to grow and evolve with small, consistent steps.

It is yet another instance of everything being connected — the nature of not having one without the other. The trust had to come after the faith, but it sort of layered and wove into the other, bolstering and strengthening each other. That small moment mirrored a deeper truth I was only beginning to understand.

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When was the last time a small reaction showed you that you’d grown more than you realized?

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What Faith Actually Looks Like in Practice

I want to be honest and transparent about what faith in practice looks like for me. I’m sharing this because when you're given the opportunity to see exactly what level your faith is at, the lens and perspective with which you frame it is important. Looking at it as a test adds a negative and binary view — it’s either strong or weak — and that perspective is an illusion.

Faith is fluid.

Sometimes the faith needs to feel “weak” so we can learn to trust ourselves.
Sometimes the trust needs to feel “weak” so we can learn to have faith.

Faith is a practice. It takes intention. It takes energy. It is personal and deeply subjective.

And here’s something I want to add clearly:

Sometimes faith carries us through seasons where we can’t see the way… until we can. And once the clarity comes, we sometimes forget to replenish that faith. But faith is nourished the same way we nourish anything meaningful — with gratitude, kindness for no reason, service, volunteering, or even something as simple as picking up the trash we walk past.

This is how we restore faith in ourselves and help restore faith in others. This is how we mirror the good energy we want mirrored back to us.

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Where could one small act of kindness replenish your faith today?

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The Questions Faith Asked Me to Ask Myself

And so if you’re reading this and the thought arises: Well, how do I get to a place where I can see the faith sustain me through this hardship?

A better question may be:

Where in myself can I have faith?
What about me can I trust?
What about the person I am — how I show up, how I lead myself — can I believe will remain steady no matter what comes my way?

If you have a hard time coming to a conclusion, we can work on that together.

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What part of you feels ready to trust yourself again, even just a little?

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Redefining Faith — Breaking What Needed Breaking

In the beginning of my journey back to faith — which to me means: complete trust or confidence in my connection to myself, which in turn connects me to the universe and unseen forces that are a reflection of me — I had to redefine what faith even meant to me.

Redefining the meaning of faith was deeply personal and necessary for me to reclaim my relationship and connection to the divine. But before I could rebuild my faith, I had to dismantle what I thought faith was.

The more I learned about religions other than Islam, the history of Islam, the history of humanity as a whole — and our need to create boxes and labels to make sense of things that are divine and inexplicable to the logical mind — the more I realized there truly is no one right answer.

Belief systems can create belonging, but they can also create separation, hierarchy, and disharmony. Yet beneath all those differences, every religion shares the same core principles:

Be kind.
Do no harm.
Help others without expecting anything in return.
Treat people with dignity.

Those similarities are the divine’s fingerprint.
Not the watered-down versions shaped by human ego — but the essence itself.

Once I released the fear, shame, and guilt I carried around not fitting neatly into any one system… my relationship with the divine deepened, and my quality of life began to trend upward.

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What belief are you beginning to release because it never truly belonged to you?

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Faith Seeded in the Human, Not Just the Divine

Even with all these realizations, the actual rebuilding didn’t begin in the spiritual realm — it began in the human one.

My journey back to faith started to take form when I had been working on my mental and emotional health after stabilizing on methadone. I mention this because it’s important to note that those were the moments when the seeds were being planted — but if you had asked me then, I would’ve insisted faith was a luxury for people who hadn’t been through anything.

Which I now know is not true.
Everyone has been through something.
The difference is whether they identify, process, and release it.

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What hard season planted a seed you didn’t recognize until much later?

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The Path to Wholeness — And the Faith That Grew With It

What I couldn’t see then was that all the mental and emotional work I was doing, the energy I was clearing, was making room for me to forge a lasting connection with myself. The internal world and external world were mirroring each other — physical and energetic realms in sync.

By processing, naming, acknowledging, and taking responsibility for what was mine while releasing what wasn’t, I was reclaiming my power and the authorship of my life. That was the beginning of my path to wholeness.

Only with distance could I see the roots of what I thought was just survival.

As I am better able to see the bigger picture now, I can see that inner work — that building of a relationship with myself — was the foundation that led me to have faith that no matter what comes, I have my own back.

And because I have my own back, I can see the ways the universe also has my back.

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Where in your life is clarity forming slowly, even if you can’t see the entire path yet?

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The Lived Expression of Faith

This is why reflecting on my experiences mattered so much — the common thread is that no matter what happened, I am still here. And somehow, I’m better for what I’ve experienced.

If I don’t trust myself, how can I trust the signs and synchronicities I’m interpreting — especially when logic or people around me would contradict what I felt in my heart?

Trusting that I’m not imagining things or being delusional was key to having faith that my connection with the divine is real — and has always been real.

Just like your connection with the divine is real.

If you don’t feel you have one, we can work on that together. Everyone has a connection — some just have more debris to clear.

I know it’s said a lot that you have to keep the faith and keep going, but the reason it’s said so often is because it is a universal truth. Human beings do our best under pressure when we operate from faith.

Not that we can’t push through without faith — I certainly have.

But now that I have something to compare it to, navigating challenges with faith is a completely different experience.

When faith started to permeate every aspect of my life, I found myself with more confidence to make choices I had always dreamt of making. To show up in the ways I always knew I could. To dream bigger and allow myself to believe those dreams were possible.

It started small — wearing bolder colors, expressing myself more freely, saying no to things that didn’t feel aligned — but once I did, a positive feedback loop formed and never really stopped.

The more confidently I walk with the belief that I am guided, protected, and supported, the more evidence of just that appears.

This was the lived expression of all the inner work.
The tangible side of faith.

You could call it wishful thinking or the placebo effect. But until there’s a scientific explanation for why the placebo effect works, I’ll keep trusting what my life has shown me:

Faith has carried me farther than fear ever could.

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Where in my life is something new trying to grow through an old belief, pattern, or identity I’ve outgrown — and am I willing to make space for it?

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Faith Evolving as We Do

When I was a kid, I was raised to be faithful to rules, doctrine, and a punishing version of God. That version of faith was transactional and external. It lacked love, compassion, and forgiveness for simply being human.

Losing my grandmother — and then my best friend — shattered what little of that faith I had left. And looking back, it makes sense. That faith was built on fear and control, not love and connection.

At this point my faith is rooted in unconditional love, acceptance, and direct connection to the source of all creation.

That may evolve — and that’s the whole point.

Faith should evolve.
Beliefs should evolve.
Otherwise they become cages instead of compasses.

Asking myself the questions most people avoid — Do I still believe this? Does this still honor who I am becoming? — allowed me to bring faith out of the theoretical and into the physical.

Faith became a bridge.
A guide.
A steadying force.

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🌙 Author’s Note

As I wrote this piece, I kept realizing how much of my faith was shaped in the quiet, overlooked moments — the ones I didn’t recognize as growth until much later. So much of what I thought was survival was actually my soul teaching me a new language of trust.

If anything in these words met you where you are, I invite you to pause and reflect on your own path — not from judgment, but from curiosity and tenderness:

Where has faith carried me farther than fear ever could?
Where is faith already growing in my life, even if I haven’t named it yet?
And who am I becoming because I chose to believe in something more?

Your answers matter.
Your path matters.

And even if your faith feels faint right now, it is not failing you —
it is forming you.

With love,
— Hadija (HigherHeartWarriorChannel)

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